The Power of Female Friendships in Motherhood: Giving Ourselves Grace

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how grateful I am for the incredible women in my life—especially the friendships I’ve built since becoming a mother. When I had my first son, who is now six, I was the first in my friend group to enter motherhood. I went from working full-time and finishing my master’s degree straight into full-blown parenting. And while two things can absolutely be true at the same time—having my son was the greatest thing I have ever done and one of the hardest transitions I’ve ever experienced—it was a chapter I often felt very alone in.

He was born just seven months before the pandemic. I had this idea of what maternity leave would look like, and it ended up being nothing like I envisioned. Then I had my second son during the pandemic, and three years later my daughter arrived. Her pregnancy came with complications (if you’ve read my other posts, you’ll know the story), but thankfully she and I are perfectly healthy now.

This blog post isn’t about my pregnancies, though—it’s about the women who carried me through all of it.

The Beauty of Female Support

Over the past several years, I’ve built a network of women who have supported me through the highs, the lows, and every messy, beautiful in-between moment of motherhood. These friendships have become anchors—safe, grounding, nourishing spaces where I can show up exactly as I am.

This past week was especially social for me, and I spent time with four of my closest girlfriends. All of us are in different seasons of life, each with our own wins and challenges—relationships, health, work, parenting, or simply trying to keep our heads above water.

Yet the theme that kept coming up in every conversation was this:

We need to give ourselves more grace.We need to be gentler with ourselves.We need more compassion for ourselves.

As mothers, as women, as humans—we so often forget that.

A Soul-Nourishing Reminder

Last night I had a glass of wine with a friend I hadn’t seen in about three months. It was such a soul-nourishing visit. I opened up about some challenges I’ve been having with one of my kids—picky eating, pushing boundaries, and now becoming aware of peer pressure at school.

She reminded me of something so simple but so grounding: we can provide healthy food, a safe environment, and loving guidance… but ultimately, our kids need space to make their own choices and learn from their own experiences.

And then she said something that made me laugh because of how true it is:

“Our parents weren’t perfect—and we turned out okay.”

It made me pause. I think I turned out pretty great, actually. I have my challenges like anyone else, but I’m here, I’m learning, I’m doing my best. And that’s enough.

We talked about how so many of the challenges kids face will eventually grow into strengths as adults. And how parenting isn’t about preventing every hard moment—it’s about helping them understand their feelings and build a healthy relationship with them.

Lowering Expectations, Raising Compassion

One of the biggest lessons motherhood continues to teach me is that growth takes repetition. We’re not meant to say something once and have it magically stick. We teach, guide, model, and support—over and over and over again—gently and patiently. Eventually, those lessons land.

And while we’re learning how to teach our kids, we’re also learning how to treat ourselves with the same gentleness.

I’m still learning at 36. I’m still figuring things out. And that’s okay.

Why Female Friendships Matter So Much

My female friends provide a kind of emotional support that I can’t always access in other relationships. There’s something uniquely comforting about women who understand the mental load, the identity shifts, the sleep deprivation, the mom guilt, the love, and the constant worrying that comes with raising little humans.

In the past few years, I’ve learned how to open up in a deeper, more vulnerable way with my female friends. Letting myself lean on them has had a profound impact on my mental health, my perspective, and my ability to show up as a parent.

I am so grateful for them.For their wisdom, their honesty, their laughter, and their gentle reminders to be kind to myself.For the conversations that pull me back into perspective.For the shared understanding that none of us have it all figured out—but we’re doing the best we can.

And truly, that is enough.

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