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Parenting Through Big Feelings: Learning to parent through the hard days

  • Writer: glutenfreemomofthr
    glutenfreemomofthr
  • Dec 1, 2025
  • 3 min read

Parenting isn’t always the highlight reel we share online. Today, I’m sharing the messy parts too — because this chapter is hard.


I’m having a tough time with my six-year-old right now. He is an incredibly kind, smart, affectionate boy. He is creative, expressive, and has the funniest imagination.


He brings so much joy into our lives every single day. And also… he feels very big feelings.


Lately, mornings have been a real struggle — especially transitions to school. He’s testing boundaries, reacting strongly when things don’t go his way, and expressing those emotions loudly and intensely. I know deep down that so much of this is normal for his age — but that doesn’t make it easier to navigate as a parent.


What’s Going On at Age Six?


Developmentally, six-year-olds often:

  • Experience huge leaps in emotional awareness — but lack regulation skills

  • Want more independence but still crave reassurance

  • Can be rigid with routines and expectations

  • Get easily overwhelmed by transitions or sudden changes

  • Test boundaries to understand what’s safe and consistent


Basically — their hearts and minds are growing faster than the skills they need to cope. And that mismatch can look like defiance… when it’s really distress.


This Morning Was Hard


We’d had a stretch of great mornings. I thought we were turning a corner.

Then Monday arrived.


This weekend was busy — swimming lessons, play dates, a Christmas event at the Royal Botanical Gardens… all fun things! But fun is still stimulation. And then there was a midnight adventure in the basement playroom that left everyone overtired by 5am.


So yes, there were factors working against us. But when everything fell apart this morning, even though I did all the right things, it still felt like nothing worked. And that is a defeating place to be as a parent.


Overstimulation Is Real


As a mom who spends so much of the day in “go-mode,” I sometimes run out of patience before the day even starts. The noise, the urgency, the arguing — it can flood my nervous system in seconds.


Recently, I’ve started putting on headphones with calming alpha waves or bilateral beats when I feel myself becoming overwhelmed. It helps me stay grounded so I can show up how he needs me — not how my stress wants me to react.


What We’re Doing to Help


We’re trying so many tools right now, and some days they really do help:

  • Timers for transitions (visual + auditory)

  • Verbal warnings and eye contact before changing activities

  • Morning belongings prepared the night before

  • A kid-friendly morning checklist they can color + check off

  • Consequences that make sense (like removal of preferred items)

  • Coaching through feelings with language and calm support

  • Validating his emotions even when the behavior isn’t okay


Here’s the Morning Routine Checklist I made and laminated for both boys — it helps them feel in control and proud of their progress each day. (I’ll link the laminator and timers below!)



Giving Myself (and Him) Grace


Some days I feel like I’m winning. Other days, I cry in the car.


I don’t always say the right thing.I don’t always stay patient.I don’t always love the version of myself that shows up.


But I love him.He always knows he is loved.And tomorrow is another chance to try again.


What’s Helping Us With Big Emotions (Evidence-Based Strategies)


Name the feeling


“You’re feeling frustrated because you had to stop playing.”


Helps him feel understood — and less defensive.


Offer two choices

Both parent-approved, but gives him autonomy.


“Do you want to put on socks or shirt first?"


Keep directions short & clear


One step at a time is easier for overwhelmed brains.


Praise the small wins


Catch the positives — it reinforces progress.


“Wow, you stayed calm when the timer went off.”


Pattern spotting


Sleep, food, routine, overstimulation — they matter more than we think.


Repair after rupture


Always circle back with connection


“I’m sorry that was hard. I love you so much. Let’s try again next time.”


You’re Not Alone


If you’re also parenting a big-feeling little human — I see you.


You’re not failing.You’re parenting a child who feels deeply and needs guidance learning to manage it.


And that is important work.


Products That Help Us With Transitions


(These are affiliate links)


 
 
 

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